Marriage Counseling
by Page1229
Summary: One-shot. Keiko drags Yusuke to see a marriage counselor and things start to go south real fast for the former detective. Rated T for small adult situations.


Disclaimer: I own Nothing!

Marriage Counseling

Yusuke and Keiko were sitting on a couch in an office facing a man with a clipboard.

"Alright you two, let's begin. Why are you here?"

"That's a stupid question," Yusuke responded. "We're paying you to help us and all you can come up with is why we're here?"

"Shut up Yusuke," Keiko snapped. She turned to the counselor. "We've been arguing a lot lately and we just need some help figuring out how to fix it."

"'Fix it'? Mrs. Urameshi, you have to understand I can only guide you to solutions." The counselor's eyes went to Keiko's legs near the end of his explanation.

Yusuke cleared his throat, annoyed by this scrawny guy's suggestive gaze. "So guide us, doc."

"Right," the man refocused. "Well, what have you two been arguing about?"

"You know, regular stuff like who's gonna take out the trash, who's gonna wash the dishes, make dinner?"

Keiko gave her husband an irritated look. "And where you've been the past few nights?"

"I told you, I was hanging out with the guys." Yusuke leaned his head against the back of the couch with his eyes closed. Keiko crossed her arms. Yusuke felt her stare and opened one eye. "I was. Seriously Keiko, I would never run around on you."

"You seem so quick to jump to that conclusion."

"Because I know it's what you're thinking."

"So you're a mind reader now?"

"If I was a mind reader, then don't you think I would be able to end this argument a lot faster instead of going to some quack for help?"

Keiko didn't answer but she huffed, keeping her arms crossed.

The counselor broke in then. "Yusuke, were you really hanging out with friends?"

"Did you not just hear that conversation? Yes I was!"

"Keiko, why do you not believe him?"

"Because every time he came home late, he was covered in sweat and smelled like perfume."

"Because I was wrestling with Kuwabara and I knew you didn't like the smell of sweat, so I had Kur- uh Shuichi rub some of his plants on me." Yusuke had to remember not to mention his friend's demon name in front of a human.

"Why do you spend so much time with them?"

"I don't hang out with them as much as I used to, Keiko. Kuwabara just graduated and spends a lot of time with Yukina, Shuichi works all the time, and I can't even guess when Hiei might visit. It was weird to see him three days in a row, I have no idea when I might see him again."

The counselor scribbled on his clipboard. "When was the last time you two have been intimate?"

Keiko's face turned red. Yusuke practically screamed, "Why the hell would you need to know that?!"

"Please Mr. Urameshi, this is important. I need to know how damaged your marriage might be."

"It's none of your damn business! That's a private matter! And who said our marriage was damaged?"

"A few days," Keiko answered, her face resembling a tomato.

"Keiko!"

"Is that good or bad?" his wife asked, ignoring him.

"So around the time Yusuke met with his 'friends'?" the man air quoted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yusuke growled. Keiko nodded.

The counselor continued to scribble. "Yusuke, how close are you to these men?"

"Look, whatever your thinking it's wrong. I trust each and every one of them with my life. They're the best partners a guy could ask for."

"'Partners'?"

Yusuke was about to give a retort when Keiko interrupted. "Yusuke used to be a sort of detective. Nothing too serious, just small cases."

"And he needed three partners?" The man sounded doubtful.

"He's not very bright." Yusuke scooted himself away from his wife until he was at the very end.

The counselor seemed to ponder over a thought. "Mrs. Urameshi, have you ever considered your husband might be...?"

"Might be what, doc?" Yusuke glared at him sideways.

He fiddled with his pen before answering. "Gay?"

The room erupted from Yusuke's rage. The former Spirit Detective jumped up and grabbed the weaker man by the shirt collar as Keiko screamed for him to let go. "I'm getting really tired of your crap! I can stand the ass load of money we're paying you, I can stand the annoying scribbling you're doing, and I can stand the insults. But what I can't stand is how you're obviously trying to ruin my marriage by making insinuations and how you haven't stopped staring at my wife like she was a fine piece of meat since we've started this stupid session!"

"Mr. Urameshi, please," he pleaded, panic in his eyes as Yusuke's seemed to glow crimson.

"If you want to know what I've been doing over the past few days, I've been planning a party for Keiko's birthday."

"What?" Keiko was surprised at how quickly this turned.

Yusuke loosened his grip on the man and turned to his childhood friend. "I wanted to surprise you but this jerk kinda forced me. I only agreed to this session so you wouldn't get suspicious." He let the man go and hung his head shamefully. "I didn't really think through how bad it would look but I wanted you to be surprised and I guess happy that I wasn't cheating. Or gay."

Keiko didn't say a word. She raised her hand and Yusuke prepared to get floored but the result was pitiful compared to her usual force, only giving him a minor sting and he was still standing on two feet. He looked to her with a confused expression. "Don't," she choked out from relieved tears, "scare me like that again." She wrapped her arms around him.

"Try to act surprised, will you Keiko? The others put a lot of thought into it. Well except Hiei." And they both left the office, still holding onto each other, leaving a very dazed and confused man behind. They barely reached the car by the time their pent up hormones took the better of them and they experienced the intimacy they had missed for the past few days.


End file.
